Never give up!

Today's letter is N and I have one message you must have heard a lot many times - Never give up!

Though you are at a dark place in your life, career, health or anything else. Though you are in a difficult spot and cannot step out, don't give up. You cannot give. You cannot afford to let the situations win over you. You cannot lose unless you want to. You cannot let you defeat yourself. Whenever you hit the bottom, remember that there is only one way you can go once you hit the rock bottom and that is the way UP! 

Never ever give up. Fight, move on, learn, endure the pain and tell yourself this is the worst that can happen to you and it has already happened. What else can life throw at you? Nothing. Now that this is clear, we need to get up. So pick yourself up and move on. Dust off the negativity and take a step of faith in the right direction. See what you can correct and improve, what you can learn, what you can innovate, change to help you get up and succeed. Seek help if needed and move forward, even if it is a single step forward, it is better than being in the same place. Progress is a huge thing even if it is small. Progress, proceed and prove them wrong. 

#A2Z Challenge #ConsumerPsyche 

Pic is from here.

The need for emotional hygiene

Monday Blues: A warfare

Every day is a race, a fight, a warfare. Let us face the reality and move on with what is important, what we should focus on and how we can perform well when faced with multiple choices. When we face the reality and focus on what is important, we would be able to negate the chances of reducing the stress. Usually we would be going towards the easy ones which is a wrong thing to do. 

In pursuit of excellence, we should focus on what is important and what is of high priority. In the words of N. Emil Jebasingh, Director of Transworld Radio, India, Lions are playing a havoc on the nation; but we are hunting the rats! Let us focus on the lions.

Facebook's study got it wrong: seeing our 'friends' happy can make us sad

Apparently facebook was trying to either depress you or improve your mood. I never knew! Here is a clinical post by Jess Zimmerman.

It's cute that Facebook was apparently trying to make me sad by suppressing my friends' good-news updates so that I feel surrounded by anxiety and illness, in order to measure the effects of "contagion" on users' emotional states. Well, "cute" in the manner of a creepy social experiment on uninformed participants, so maybe not really the standard usage of "cute". Remember Dexter's Laboratory, the cartoon where the little kid was always plotting world-destroying antics but was also two feet tall and six years old? Cute like that.

Anyway, the point is: bless their invasive little hearts, but this was doomed from the start. People don't get sad because their Facebook friends are sad. We get sad because our Facebook "friends" are happy.

This is not me being cynical – of course I'm capable of empathy for the people I care about, and vice versa. No, this is a matter of Facebook not understanding its own product. For the average Facebook user, only a fraction of our "friends" are actually people we love – people whose setbacks strike us near to the heart, people whose triumphs uplift us along with them. The rest are former co-workers, friends of friends from that party that one time, people who were jerks to us in high school but not big enough jerks to reject their friend requests, and exes. Screwthose guys.

I realize that scientific progress sometimes means performing rigorous research on questions that seem self-evident. (I also realize that thisresearch is supposed to be done on people who know they're participating in a research investigation; never mind that right now.) But you don't need a study, informed or not, to tell you that the connection between our emotions and those of people around us are a lot more complicated than "sad=sad". All you need to do is look at a happy Facebook pic from your ex's wedding.

The study in question, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, reports that, for a week in January 2012, some Facebook users saw an altered timeline wherein posts with either "negative" or "positive" words got suppressed. A lot of the hand-wringing horror over this unauthorized experiment stems from the reality that users who were exposed to more negative content responded by making more negative posts, which implies that they were more sad. In other words, they were materially harmed by their experience as social-science abductees.

But the study doesn't seem to control for the possibility that people simply match their tone and word choice to that of their peers, to avoid being the tall poppy. In the end, it's not clear that Facebook found out anything about emotional contagion. It sounds more like semantic contagion to me.

If Facebook really wanted to make people experience unhappiness, suppressing "positive words" isn't going to do the trick. Emotions are way more complicated than the mere words we use, and it's not always posts with negative words that make us sad.

For its next mad-scientist foray into emotional manipulation, Facebook and Co should instead try building a news feed where users see only the following:

• Notifications of career success from an acquaintance who is in the same field as you, but younger
• Mushy "Happy anniversary, baby!" notes from your ex's new significant other
• Cute snapshots of your friends' young child who they say is doing so well since they opted not to get him vaccinated
• Triumphant posts of celebration from people who root for a different team/candidate than you
• Memes involving a photo of a beach or flower overlaid with encouraging platitudes with at least two obvious typos
• Off-the-chart FitBit stats
• Profile pictures making it clear that the mean, gorgeous queen bee from high school is still – against any reasonable expectation of biology or justice – extremely gorgeous
• Birth announcements from dear friends who gave their offspring really stupid names

I doubt there would be a "negative word" among them, but I guarantee you the emotional contagion would be off the charts.

Monday blues: Take care

Take care of your problems, worries and issues. You don't need to just put bitterness off for a while and let it come back. You need to take care of it.

Sales and communication

Great salesmen are great communicators. Great communication comes with some original traits, gait and a lot of practice. However, it is easier to train and learn. Here are some simple techniques for being a great communicator.

1. Keep your information simple
2. Ensure your words and action reflect what you are saying
3. Endeavour to build key strategic partnerships and not just temporary solution
4. Blend with local and be consumer focused – understand their needs
5. Deliver on quality and value for money
6. Children are key customers

Your communication should reflect your commitment, passion and belief. Train your front of house team on this, the importance of what you are, the story it tells and the connection with the client.

Start with Sorry

Sometimes a simple sorry can solve problems. Sometimes it might not. I for one do not believe in saying sorry for things that I know I am right. Sometimes you have people who love to use the 'I-am-the-customer' tag too often to show that they are in control and can say what they want. I am sorry. I disagree.

So here is how you get out of situations like that. Stick to what you have done correctly and what you have done wrong. If there is a mistake, don't hold back - apologize. If you are not, then stay put.

To avoid confrontations, try and document every possible interaction and make of note of things you might forget. If you are a leader, ensure your team is on time, always. You wouldn't want to reprimand someone for your letting things go easy. If you are a team member, do it to stay accounted for anything you are asked for. After all this is what you would need to teach your team.

Like I said, if you are right, stay put. The fight is worth it.

Pic is from Emily's blog.

Take it back!

Few days back I found this product on Flipkart and ordered it on their site. Let me tell you this. I am a frequent customer on their website and I love shopping there as it is simple and hassle-free. This one incident proved to be otherwise.

So after I ordered the product, it came on the last day of the expected dates and within a few minutes I packed it back as I was not happy with the quality of the product that was delivered wasn't up to the quality it was shown on their listing online.

So I called customer care and asked them to pick it back up and found that they don't do that! They would do that only if the product is broken and not in usable condition. Now you should have seen how upset I had become and even after patiently explaining to the agent to ask someone above him to check if it is possible but he was strictly reading from the rule book. So I had to search their policies and finally reach out to their Facebook page and post about it.

Surprisingly for Flipkart, I got a call in 15 mins and after listening to the problem they said they would send someone to pick it up. Sure enough there was someone to pick it up from me a couple of days later and the amount was returned. my faith in Flipkart was restored.

Is this the way you solve problems? Is this how you want to be known? Do you want me to feel that you are not empowering your front end staff? Is it true that you are showcasing a simple, yet fragile system when the most irate and aggressive client is the first one to get his queries/demands met? If that is the case, I am sorry for you. You aren't in the right track.

Have you had an experience like this? Who won? The rule or customer service?

Light up!

Light!

Am suddenly drawn to them. Like bug to the fire. Like bees to honey. Like Tiger to chicken. Wherever I go, I am amused with the different types of lights. Or should I say glass?
Amazing forms, sizes, shapes and prices :)


Strange that they can't move, change, correct. Just stay and let the dust get collected. Interestingly enough, they let the light' brighten them inside out. No dust, darkness, shade or dullness lets their hope come down or stay gloomy.

Can you be a light? Can you make someone's day shine up? Or would you contribute to the gloom?

You choose.

Guess what. In the process of lighting up for others, they glow and shine themselves too!

All pics displayed here can be downloaded and used for free. Just give a link here. You can find more pics here: t3i photography.

Don't text while driving!

Watch this video, pass it on to all your friends. So touching and naked.

Love you Dad

Though I have been driving over a decade, each time my dad sees me drive away, I see the anxiety in his eyes. Especially if it is a car. I know he waits for my call, to know I reached safe. He never calls unless my call doesn't come in the stipulated time, lest he disturbs me while driving. I try and tell him that I would be fine but the message doesn't hit the spot.

'You will know one day, when you get to be a dad' is his quip. May be, I will. Look at this video I found at Anxiety Index and you would know why your parents behave the way they do. Loved the ad. Love you Dad.

Monday Blues: Fighting insecurity

One of the worst fears is insecurity. It feeds on your confidence and renders you helpless. I have seen people worry themselves so much that they get sick, literally. Worrying about their past, present, future, finances, about what other people think of them, what they ought to do, about pleasing people, about getting hurt, trying to control everything and what not! Not that I am an expert in teaching how to handle your life, but I believe worry is the way to insecurity which leads to unhappiness in life. Desperation makes you seek happiness elsewhere and causes discomfort.

The wicked me whispers this... What a chance for the marketer in me! All I need to do is figure out what makes you unhappy and create something to take it out or divert that built up unkempt energy to my product. Bingo! the headlights and the poor deer. Now you know why people smoke, drink, etc.

You can be phony, acting like everything’s fine on the outside when you really unhappy on the inside. You can hide the crackling for sometime but at the end of the day you are hurting yourself. A majority of us do not even get to ask this question. Like Shakespearean drama, you keep on playing the roles expected to perfection forgetting the inner you and lose out in the battle, tired, drained and cold.

Often you feel divided, drawn between things at work, business and life, failing to find time to devote for yourself and family. You know what I mean... tied up with several things, your to do list keeps on growing and work starts piling up at all junctures. Things like laundry, pending bills, trip to the dentist, reports to submit, millions of trackers to update, calling up old friends, things to buy like the tooth paste, lip gloss, hair cut and so on. We start questioning where is the liberty we thought we would have and how our life is drifting by, without us having any control. Here is where the panic button kicks in. How do we manage to handle this? Here is what I do. In this realm of importance I make a list of things to be done that day and divide them into two:
Got to do & Nice to do. First finish the 'Got to do' and then move on to 'Nice to do' which makes much sense. Now I always make sure I have some personal time to reflect and relax so as to allocate time for planning.

And if nothing works out, here is an easy get away. Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest". I spend some time with God, in solace and Lo! I am filled with relaxation and energy to face the world. You might call this spiritual and should try. You would find it very useful in handling the stress, whatever the cause may be.

Leave the worrying and learn to relax. Welcome to the decision to have a good attitude. It would change you much before the actual change occurs in you! It is your life after all; make it awesome.

Keep your mask on

[If you feel the tone of this post is strong, skip the last para]

I am sure you would have faced this. You spend time together, talk and do things together and after a point think you know the other person in and out. Usually after this point your confidence and trust on the other person has reached such a state that small aberrations would skip being noticed and even if they are, they wouldn't matter much to you. But you think you know someone until you find out things that scare you. Some people are so good at acting, tricking and cheating that if there is a doctoral certification, they would be eligible for honorary bestowing. Ever heard of wolf in sheepskin? Well there are too many phonies in sheepskin around and I hate that.

Does this mean I am asking you to doubt everyone and everything? The answer would be no, a firm NO. But shouldn't you be careful? You can act most of the time but somewhere your real attitude would come out and you are busted. You can't fool all the people all the time. The best thing is to stay what you are. If you hate it so much, think of how you could change. Pretending as someone else and showing off a false attitude wouldn't help you for long. There would be temporary gains and fun but the aftermath is usually worse.

How would you handle this? Especially when you see the actual colors of someone you trust come out before you? Depends on how important the other person is for you and how long you could cope with that. How would I handle this? Hmmm... lemme see... There would never even be a question of the person being important or not, close or not. Better keep your mask on or be far away. Really really far away.

Pic

Johnson & Johnson focusses on stress

During routine focus groups, Johnson & Johnson came to a realization: Mothers are stressed out. Seems pretty obvious, but why wasn’t anyone doing something about it? So, the company departed from its normal business model and developed upliv.com, a stress management website. For a subscription fee, the Upliv Web program provides a stress-test, advice for relaxation, and shipments of spa products. The overall price is hefty, but the company argues that it’s less than what women currently pay to de-stress. Any moms have thoughts?

Read the full story at the New York Times.

Via Twitter.

Purpose in life

Studies show benefits of spirituality and strong, supportive relationships. Money and happiness get all of the ink, but living with purpose might be the truest and straightest line to health and happiness. Researchers in the cutting-edge field of positive psychology ("hey, let's study what is good about our brains and behavior rather than all this dysfunction") have discovered individuals who feel a "meaningfulness" or purpose in life report less pain and reduced anxiety over a six-month period than volunteer subjects who score lower for meaning in their lives.

Other studies show purpose in life can significantly reduce stress and, in turn, discourage related substance abuse. Research also shows life purpose can decrease episodes of depression.

The studies reveal that finding purpose will not only extend life expectancy but also will allow a person to be more physically fit and active in later years, which makes growing older, well, more fun. The entire positive psychology movement, in its second full-steam decade now, is making a strong case for how feeling positive about your life can sustain and improve health.

I'll kill you!

US Open video showing Serena lose her cool is worth a watch. Whether she said 'I will kill you' or not is still debated but there is a lot of gesturing and threatening. It is not normal that players at that level vent out their feelings, especially in public. Looking irritated from the beginning of the match, Serena broke her racquet and towards the end launched a volley of words at an official and lost the match, was fined a hefty sum and left with a bad taste. There have been several opinions about this event and how Serena should have held herself and behaved like it is expected of the players at her level. All kinds of racist remarks from black vs white, African vs Asian, American vs Asian, feminist, African American, etc. have been hogging the blogosphere. How unfair could this be? A little emotion is good or should I say, necessary. What Serena did was that she was carried away. But I am sure she would come back soon in a serene avatar. There have been players in the past who were idolized for being what they were and yet won matches and loads of fans. The response was very different then. Ever heard of John McEnroe and the famous racquet throwing and yelling incident?

Back home, Sreesanth is in the best of his moods and seems to concentrate all his energy on his game and pitching the ball in the right spot and getting some wickets. The well known antics and body language is no more to be seen. What made him a star on the field and giving it back to the Aussies in their own mode and hitting the wickets seems to be a thing of the past. Is it not true that his antics were one of the reasons that helped build a momentum which made us believe we can take on any team in the world and win? Did it not contribute a bit? When such antics are sure to attract a disciplinary action from the match officials, could it be possible that the captain or the management ignore this? Don't you think all of them agreed to have him in this mode and either encouraged or silently supported him? Cricket is a team game and it is essential to have different elements effect the individual at the pitch and get the best out of your team. Well Sree, go back to your elements and we don't mind. But as of now stay calm and win those few matches and admiration of people who find amusement in holding on to the leashes of their puppies. Once you get a few hundred wickets you can be back.

Emotions are a part of any communication. In fact, they are vital. Different people use them differently to get things done. Anger is the most misused. On a retail floor or servicescape, customers try and wrestle favors for small operational mistakes and get things done. Usually floor supervisors, managers let them have what they crib for and wash their hands off. But let me tell you this... when you do that you lose all respect the staff has for you. Want to be a big loser who has all the toys but no one to play with? It is right to show your emotions when you are right and are on the wrong side but using your anger over everything is stupid.

Marketers and salesmen should have emotions built into their selling pitch. When you believe in what you sell and the cause, then it is easy to convince the other person to buy. If you don't believe in the product or service yourself, it would be a stale sale. Not that I have seen people selling things they don't believe in, but the enthusiasm is much more when you believe in it. Emotion is the best thing to have and when used well can turnout as a powerful tool in your arsenal. Brands use emotional appeal as a carrier of the message.

Have you ever used your emotions to get something done? Or seen someone who did? What do you think about that? Given a chance would you do the same?

Supermarket innovations part 1

Every business has its good and bad days. That can't be an excuse for the service provided. But sometimes things just go wrong. There are many customers who are shouting, want specific color of dupatta to go with the dress, insist there was a discount, the card reader doesn't work which forces the cashier to type in each code of the item and so on. When the whole set up goes wrong what do you do?

The best thing you can do is pool in more effort to help things sort out. Cool out the situation and help your team sort out things they have to do and can do. Finish the have to first and then move to the can do.

What should have been done is that you are ready for the emergency. How do you ensure this?

1. Training to work without technology and in a crisis is a must. This ensures sore experiences are reduced and help the cause. Handle things without the usage of machines once a month when there is a lean. You can do this for an hour on a regular day too
   
2. Keep the place less cluttery at the counter as this is the place I am going to stand and wouldn't want to get irritated. Ensure there is proper space for me to move on and relax. Don't herd this queue like a cattle. Leave enough space and ventilation/ac to keep my irritation low
3. ATM logic can be used to ensure many customers don't expect to be served at a time. This would ensure that the other customer waits till the one before him is served. The best part is he expects to wait
   
4. Shouting never helps. Don't shout at your team, eachother or customer. It only rises deteorates the situation. Stay calm and concentrate on getting the things going
5. Best guy first! Remember the defining moment from Troy? Put your best man to clear the pending queue. Start another queue, shift to a smaller queue and so on

Help the customer to keep his temper down and get out of there. The billing line is what he hates to spend time. So make this a sweet admirable process. It is this cramped billing he would remember than the spacious, gracious stalls you have. Isn't it logical to close with a bang that deserves an applause?

Why me?

Not to the strong is the battle, not to the swift is the race;
Yet to the true and the faithful victory is promised thro' grace!
--- (S. Martin)

Keep faith and hang on.

Smile please

Do you know you smile only 5% of what children under 15 smile? No wonder we have tension, problems and tense moments all the time. Kids on the other hand smile away their worries and these smiles carry positive vibes to keep you fresh and help you sail through all your worries. At almost 300 smiles per day kids do a lot more smiling. At least it helps burn some calories and see you through your worries. So keep smiling.
Pic: Here

For the sake of it

Are you complaining just for the sake of it? Are you acting as an obstacle or as a ladder? I think the later is more popular, acceptable and satisfying. Its your call.