Google+ Positive Psychologist: January 2014

Leader

Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday Blues: It is okay to fail


What if I fail?

So what? No one is actually bothered if you fail. Yes, there might be a few guffaws and some smart jokes about how you failed and stuff but why are you bothered?

The ability to convince your mind to get up from the lazy chair and attempt something that made you explore an uncharted territory is commendable. You should be proud of yourself and keep going at it till you win.

It is okay to fail but not okay to lay back. Get up and take charge. Make sure your next attempt is one step closer to success. Measure your steps and see how you can achieve this and move ahead.

Monday blues: Being thankful

This monday, let us be thankful! Here is why!

  • Being thankful is one of the ways to keep your spirits up.
  • Being thankful helps you acknowledge what you have, what you earned, what you are blessed with and should value.
  • Being thankful aids in being happy.
  • Being thankful helps you to appreciate what you don't normally see.
  • Being thankful helps you relax.
  • Being thankful is being cheerful.
  • Being thankful helps you mend relationships.
  • Being thankful is good.
  • Be thankful today.
 All pics displayed here can be downloaded and used for free. Just give a link here. You can find more pics here: t3i photography.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Secret of happiness


Folks who are impatient with others not only kill their own joy by irritation but also that of others.

To be able to find joy in another's joy is the secret of happiness.

 All pics displayed here can be downloaded and used for free. Just give a link here. You can find more pics here: t3i photography.



Thursday, January 23, 2014

Practice what you preach

As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live. To help them lead a life of character and become dependable and accountable for their words and actions. As the leaders of our homes, we can start by only speaking honest words – white lies will surface and slowly erode character. Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too. If you don’t cut corners, for example, they will know it’s not acceptable for them to either. Show your kids what it means to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group. Leave people and places better than you found them, and your kids will take note and do the same.
Read the full article here. Highly recommended.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What are we teaching our kids?

How come all kids rhymes are full of horror? Can we be more positive?

Humpty dumpty falls
Jack and Jill fall
Five little monkeys are eaten by the croc
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, fall down and break their head
Itsy bitsy spider gets flushed out
1 2 3 4 5, once I caught a fish alive.. fish bites him
Three men in a tub?!
Thee blind mice?
London bridge is falling down
I'm a little teapot, short and stout???
Old MacDonald had a farm.. and then we eat at MCD
Needles and pins, When a Man marries, His Trouble begins?
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell?!
Little Poll Parrot's food is stolen
Little Miss Muffet is frightened by a spider
Ding, dong, bell, Pussy’s in the well
Eeper Weeper, chimney sweeper pushes a wife up the chimney
Goose-a goose-a gander, throws an old man down the stairs
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride
It's raining; it's pouring. The old man is snoring and he dies
Lucy Locket lost her pocket
Poor Jenny is a-weeping
Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Agreed to have a battle
Tom, Tom, the piper's son, Stole a pig
Three wise men of Gotham, They went to sea in a bowl?? Seriously?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Crunchy


Aren't we all kids at heart? Some crunchy fryums never hurt anyone :)




       All pics displayed here can be downloaded and used for free. Just give a link here. You can find more pics here: t3i photography.



Friday, January 17, 2014

Be a man and be a feminist


Life for women is not as easy as it seems and I am not talking about the immense responsibilities that they take up but the horrible things they are forced to endure int heir daily life. This is not just in the US or UK but also in every other country, in India, in your locality, in your street and may be in your building too! How often do we hear statistics and incidents and think it is not going to happen to me or anyone I know? I want to change that today.

Stand up, voice it, share it and make sure you prevent the ill from happening. More than that discuss this with your friends, family and children and teach them how important it is to stop such practices and start being a change. Make sure they have enough examples of good practices and bad ones too and urge them to respect women.

Let us dispel the misconceptions, wrong ideas, illustrations, and what not that drive children and men to grow up to be harassing, demeaning, culture-less, shameless and ignorant members of the society.

Change your words, the regular slang, small words that you don't actually mean, that just have crept in to your language and way of speaking and see if you can replace them with positive, meaningful, respectful and very clearly progressive words.

Here is another beautiful video that looks at ways to do so.

What would you do today? Will you be the man today and have the guts to stand up and be a feminist?





The last year



We were blessed with a beautiful girl last year.
I can summarize all the wonderful and memorable moments with this simple infographic. And yes, it is awesome!

Pic is from Mahindra's page.



Thursday, January 16, 2014

Talk to your children


What marketing or marketers are teaching your kids today?




As a marketer, I am more inclined to ads that appeal and show how my product will solve your problem and how it is better. So all my communique is a result of such actions that trigger the need in you. Would I or any other marketer think otherwise when sending out the message? I don't think so. Because it is a tough world out there and not all are as lucky to have their own sweet time unless you are too high up in the organization or in a company that believes in responsible advertising.

As a parent I am on conflict and cynical about how I can reduce the unwanted content that my child is exposed to and forced to form opinions that are difficult and dangerous. I don't want my child to grow in that atmosphere. But can you or I actually control what they see? I don't think so. Children are being exposed to malicious content more easily these days and more importantly at a much younger age than you and me. So I would find time to be with my child and explain that it is important to look past the marketing or advertising gimmick and see the actual message. Explain why it is important to verify the claims, research the ingredients, look beyond the paid blogs, articles and huge mass of unrealistic content. More importantly I would teach her to respect her body and who she is.

And I would try and make a positive contribution to the marketing arena in whatever small way I can to make sure she grows up and is proud of what ads I am involved in. Would you?

A good ad from Axe finally!


Axe makes ads that are unrealistic. But I love this one and its message. Make love not war.





Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Why we celebrate Sankranthi!



I love the way we interpret the festivals in India.

Sankranthi falls today and it is a festival of harvest, new beginnings, and new ideas. Alicia looks at it in a different way.

Wish you and your family a very happy pongal.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Blues: Start thinking positively

When did you start thinking you are not beautiful?

Restart and start believing in yourself.

You are more than the color of your skin, your height, or your weight or you facial features or your race.

You are what you choose to be, what you believe in, what you want to learn, contribute and change.




One more gem of a video from Dove.




Saturday, January 11, 2014

Be grateful, be happy and be more beautiful

Sometimes I am thrown off by what brands could do to convey their message. I am very impressed with this one. I am very glad to have watched this and I am sure you would love it too.



Takeaways from the video are:

  1. Be happy 
  2. Be grateful
  3. Be more beautiful
  4. Be less critical
  5. Forgive
  6. Cheer up!
Well done Dove!


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Do what you love this year

Have some really good plans and ideas to do this year.

Some of them are to learn a new language and spend more time with my lovely wife and the world's most beautiful daughter and most importantly have fun.

What about you? Like Salman seems to say in every episode of Bigg Boss last year, do whatever you want to. Just make sure you do it sincerely and have loads of fun.

Here is a good video post from Tom Thum to kick off.


Sunday, January 5, 2014

Is Unselfish Joy Practicable? - Nyanaponika Thera

I bring to you a wonderful article by Nyanaponika Thera who explains how we can find joy in what we do and more importantly why we should avoid in seeking other's failure.

The virtue of mudita [muditaa], [1] i.e., finding joy in the happiness and success of others, has not received sufficient attention either in expositions of Buddhist ethics, or in the meditative development of the four sublime states (brahma-vihara [brahma-vihaara]), of which mudita is one. It was, therefore, thought desirable to compile this little book of essays and texts and to mention in this introduction a few supplementary features of this rather neglected subject.
It has been rightly stated that it is relatively easier for man to feel compassion or friendliness in situations which demand them, than to cherish a spontaneous feeling of shared joy, outside a narrow circle of one's family and friends. It mostly requires a deliberate effort to identify oneself with the joys and successes of others. Yet the capacity of doing so has psychological roots in man's nature which may be even deeper that his compassionate responses. There is firstly the fact that people do like to feel happy (with — or without — good reason) and would prefer it to the shared sadness of compassion. Man's gregarious nature (his "sociability") already gives him some familiarity with shared emotions and shared pleasure, though mostly on a much lower level than that of our present concern. There is also in man (and in some animals) not only an aggressive impulse, but also a natural bent towards mutual aid and co-operative action. Furthermore, there is the fact that happiness is infectious and an unselfish joy can easily grow out of it. Children readily respond by their own smiles and happy mood to smiling faces and happiness around them. Though children can be quite jealous and envious at times, they also can visibly enjoy it when they have made a playmate happy by a little gift and they are then quite pleased with themselves. Let parents and educators wisely encourage this potential in the child. Then this seed will quite naturally grow into a strong plant in the adolescent and the adult, maturing from impulsive and simple manifestations into the sublime state of unselfish joy (mudita-brahmavihara). Thus, here too, the child may become "the father of a man." Such education towards joy with others should, of course, not be given in a dry didactic manner, but chiefly in a practical way by gently making the child observe, appreciate, and enjoy the happiness and success of others, and by trying himself to create a little joy in others. This can be aided by acquainting the child with examples of selfless lives and actions for his joyful admiration of them (and these, of course, should not be limited to Buddhist history). This feature should not be absent in Buddhist youth literature and schoolbooks, throughout all age groups. And this theme should be continued in Buddhist magazines and literature for adults.
Admittedly, the negative impulses in man, like aggression, envy, jealousy, etc., are much more in evidence than his positive tendencies towards communal service, mutual aid, unselfish joy, generous appreciation of the good qualities of his fellow-men, etc. Yet, as all these positive features are definitely found in man (though rarely developed), it is quite realistic to appeal to them, and activate and develop that potential by whatever means we can, in our personal relationships, in education, etc. "If it were impossible to cultivate the Good, I would not tell you to do so," said the Buddha. This is, indeed, a positive, optimistic assurance.
If this potential for unselfish joy is widely and methodically encouraged and developed, starting with the Buddhist child (or, for that matter, with any child) and continued with adults (individuals and Buddhist groups, including the Sangha), the seed of mudita can grow into a strong plant which will blossom forth and find fruition in many other virtues, as a kind of beneficial "chain reaction": magnanimity, tolerance, generosity (of both heart and purse), friendliness, and compassion. When unselfish joy grows, many noxious weeds in the human heart will die a natural death (or will, at least, shrink): jealousy and envy, ill will in various degrees and manifestations, cold-heartedness, miserliness (also in one's concern for others), and so forth. Unselfish joy can, indeed, act as a powerful agent in releasing dormant forces of the Good in the human heart.
We know very well how envy and jealousy (the chief opponents of unselfish joy) can poison a man's character as well as the social relationships on many levels of his life. They can paralyze the productivity of society, on governmental, professional, industrial, and commercial levels. Should not, therefore, all effort be made to cultivate their antidote, that is mudita?
Mudita will also vitalize and ennoble charitable and social work. While compassion (karuna [karu.naa]) is, or should be, the inspiration for it, unselfish joy should be its boon companion. Mudita will prevent compassionate action from being marred by a condescending and patronizing attitude which often repels or hurts the recipient. Also, when active compassion and unselfish joy go together, it will be less likely that works of service turn into dead routine performed indifferently. Indifference, listlessness, boredom (all nuances of the Pali term arati) are said to be the 'distant enemies' of mudita. They can be vanquished by an alliance of compassion and unselfish joy.
In him who gives and helps, the joy he finds in such action will enhance the blessings imparted by these wholesome deeds: unselfishness will become more and more natural to him, and such ethical unselfishness will help him towards a better appreciation and the final realization of the Buddha's central doctrine of No-self (anatta [anattaa]). He will also find it confirmed that he who is joyful in his heart will gain easier the serenity of a concentrated mind. These are, indeed, great blessings which the cultivation of joy with others' happiness can bestow!
Nowadays, moral exhortations fall increasingly on deaf ears, whether they are motivated theologically or otherwise. Preaching morals with an admonishing finger is now widely resented and rejected. This fact worries greatly the churches and educators in the West. But there are ample indications that this may, more or less, happen also in the Buddhist countries of the East where ethics is still taught and preached in the old hortatory style and mostly in a rather stereotype and unimaginative way, with little reference to present-day moral and social problems. Hence modern youth will increasingly feel that such "moralizings" are not their concern. In fact within the frame of the Buddhist teachings which do not rely on the authoritarian commandments of God and church, but on man's innate capacity for self-purification, such conventionalized presentation of ethics which chiefly relies on over-worked scriptural references, must appear quite incongruous and will prove increasingly ineffective for young and old alike. The need for reform in this field is urgent and of vital importance.
It was also with this situation in view, that the preceding observations have stressed the fact that a virtue like unselfish and altruistic joy has its natural roots in the human heart and can be of immediate benefit to the individual and society. In other words, the approach to a modern presentation of Buddhist ethics should be pragmatic and contemporary, enlivened by a genuine and warm-hearted human concern.
In this troubled world of ours, there are plenty of opportunities for thoughts and deeds of compassion; but there seem to be all too few for sharing in others' joy. Hence it is necessary for us to create new opportunities for unselfish joy, by the active practice of loving-kindness(metta [mettaa]) and compassion (karuna), in deeds, words, and meditative thought. Yet, in a world that can never be without disappointments and failures, we must also arm ourselves with the equanimity (upekkha [upekkhaa]) to protect us from discouragement and feelings of frustration, should we encounter difficulties in our efforts to expand the realm of unselfish joy.

Note

1.
Usually rendered by unselfish, sympathetic, or altruistic joy.

Adapt