Spend Meaningful Time With Family

 Had a chance to speak to two of my close friends lost their loved ones recently.

One lost her dad and has been working really hard to make ends meet. With the pandemic hitting all the finances, she has been spending more time than she wished to at work. Thankfully, she has been able to spend some quality time with her mom and dad in the last two years. She cherished her time with a smile and was glad she could do that - build memories. 

Another friend lost her mom to Covid in the second wave and as travel was banned, she couldn't fly back to India while her mom fought Covid, loneliness and finally lost her life in the ICU. All this lasted about 20 days and was a nightmare for the family. There aren't enough words to describe the agony the family went thorough talking to everyone possible to ensure aunty was comfortable. 

We don't know how much time we have left to spend on this planet. While chasing dreams, goals and passion is always a good thing, it is important that you maintain the relationships, care for people who love you and find opportunities to show gratitude, find joy. Do not compromise on this one goal.

Spend meaningful time with your family, especially parents, grand parents, children. Make memories, have discussions, listen to them talk, recount the same thing again and again - when you have the chance. Make time for that chance.

Share this with that friend/sibling/loved ones who need to hear this.

@TalkToTiger #PositivePsychology #Familytime #Listenmore #PracticeGratitude  

Being Dad

I am a hands on dad. I like to be part of everything that happens - quite literally. Much to the amusement of other people, relatives and sometimes even my wife, I love being there and enjoying every moment of my little daughter and she loves it so much too! Hopefully she would do the same once she grows up :) Here is a wonderful video you might have already seen but I felt like worth sharing. Only if you take part in your child's work and you would appreciate what your wife and mom would have gone through. Celebrating #BeingDad.

Let her be

As parents, siblings we tend to protect our women a bit too much. As a father I expect my little one to be safe but I also leaving her to learn things on her own. Like I don't rush to pick her up when she falls down and explain when she gets hurt and in a way letting her learn pretty much on her own and then make a wiser decision (or my version of wise).

One of the best ads I saw this year is by Verizon and here it is! It says inspire her mind not restrict. Can't agree more.

Happy father's day

As father's day fast approaches, I am a little worried about the way world is changing around me and how things are not going as I would love them to go. I am also very positive and am looking forward to a changing world to move towards a better future and am very optimistic that good things are yet to come.

When I hear positive stories, I am glad people are changing. Respect for women is increasing day by day. We are taking small steps and going steadily. These may be small steps but these are strong steps, one step at a time. Brands are recognizing that. I am glad I grew up in a household where I was never exposed to an intellectual difference between a woman and a man. I used to help my mother in the kitchen, my father with his work and this was accepted as normal. I am proud to have parents who thought this is how their child or their 'only son' as it was the craze then should grow. I am glad my dad taught me values and ideals that I think every father should have and I would pass them on to my little child. Thank you mom and dad!

I am also glad to have my beautiful wife as my best friend and as a partner and not just in a relationship. I love it when she defeats me in debates and has better suggestions and gets several appreciations in her workplace. I am proud she is able to straddle mom-hood and still be an effective homemaker. I probably wouldn't be so patient if I were in her place. I am sure she likes my culinary skills when I whip out some mean dinners (I sure can). We are blessed with a beautiful daughter and she is a doll. I love the way she is growing up in front of my eyes swiftly. It is my prayer and deepest wish that things change to the positive and my daughter can look out to be recognized for her talents, abilities and choices and not get stuck in a stereotype.  Here is hoping to good times. Thank you for Dad for being there everyday, every step of the way and being a role model for me to look up to.

Would you contribute to the change? Would you take one small step? Would you be ready to change? I think you should and you would.

Read many success stories of women who are making a change everyday here: Talk To Tiger

Happy father's day Dad. I love you. Cheers!

Are you raising a spoilt brat?

Found this wonderful article by Krutika Behrawala and it is a must read.

Here's your parenting guide to instill the right discipline and responsibilities in your child

Picture this: At a supermarket, your 10-year-old demands that you buy him a box of chocolates. When you refuse, he throws a tantrum and since you don't want to create a scene in front of him, you relent and your son goes home happier. Well, surely, most parents must have come across such a situation at least once in their life. However, have you ever thought of the number of times you've given in to your kid's demands? Chances are that it's more than often and you might be raising a spoilt child. Says consulting psychiatrist Dr Pavan Sonar, "From my experience, I do believe that children today are more spoilt than their previous generation. When we see the behaviour of children of this generation, the basic qualities of attentiveness and respect towards elderly, social manners and discipline is absent in most of them. Abiding by the laws set by parents or society are carelessly ignored by kids today."

So, who's at fault?
According to clinical psychologist Saloni Sawnani, blaming the kid and labelling him/her as 'spoilt' is unfair. "It is more parents' faulty upbringing of the kid that leads him/her to be spoilt. The earlier generation of parents was more relaxed and had more time for their kids. However, with most parents working today, they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they make up by giving in to their demands and as a result, the child is spoilt," she says.

Signs your child is spoilt
Does your child behave insensitively to others? Does he or she want his demands met immediately? "Sometimes, a child might be genetically more energetic than the others, which leads to hyperactivity and you might mistakenly label him/her as spoilt. By five years of age, most children are able to communicate their feelings clearly. So, you need verify their behaviour and channel the aggression positively," says Saloni.

According to Dr Sonar, a spoilt brat is not ready to follow family or social etiquette. "The kid frequently demands money or gadgets. He/she has poor emotional control, throws tantrums, whines most of the times, doesn't take 'no' for an answer, misbehaves with peers and argues with parents," he elaborates.

How to deal with it

Don't label: "Understand why your child is behaving the way he/she does. Hear him/her out and find solutions. Most importantly, don't complain that your kid is spoilt to your family members or guests, especially not in front of the kid," says Saloni.

Know when to say no: Agreeing and giving in to everything your child says sends out a wrong message. Giving in to the tantrums tells your kid that all he/she has to do is cry and whine to get what he/she wants. When you say 'no' to your kid's demands, he/she knows that everything in life has a value and he/she has to work towards something if they want it badly.

Be consistent: During the initial years, you might pass off your kid's bad behaviour as just being cute but in the long run, it could have an adverse effect on your child. So, be consistent in your discipline methods. Set some rules and ensure that they are followed consistently. For instance, if jumping on a couch is not allowed at your place, stop him/her from doing so when at a friend's place.

Reward for good behaviour: Instead of bribing your kid by saying 'If you do this, you will get this', reward your kid when he/she displays good behaviour. "Affection always helps your kid," says Saloni. Adds Dr Sonar, "Abolish bad behaviour by rewarding the desirable ones. Awards should be very small gifts or token points."

Teach manners and values: "Storytelling is a great way to teach morals and values to your kid," says Dr Sonar. Instil values of responsibility, sharing, friendliness and sensitivity towards others in your child through various moral tales. Set a good example in front of your kids when it comes to good manners.

Bond over chores: If your kid is in his/her pre-teens, assign a task every day, whether it is helping you out with the laundry or tidying his/her study table. Teach your child that each member of the family needs to contribute towards taking care of the home and each other.

Set expectations: "Try to understand the reason for your child's behaviour and set certain expectations. Effective communication with the kid is very crucial. Teach them to express their emotions, that is, what and how they are feeling, instead of what they want," says Dr Sonar.

Practice what you preach

As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live. To help them lead a life of character and become dependable and accountable for their words and actions. As the leaders of our homes, we can start by only speaking honest words – white lies will surface and slowly erode character. Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too. If you don’t cut corners, for example, they will know it’s not acceptable for them to either. Show your kids what it means to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group. Leave people and places better than you found them, and your kids will take note and do the same.

Read the full article here. Highly recommended.

What are we teaching our kids?

How come all kids rhymes are full of horror? Can we be more positive?

Humpty dumpty falls
Jack and Jill fall
Five little monkeys are eaten by the croc
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, fall down and break their head
Itsy bitsy spider gets flushed out
1 2 3 4 5, once I caught a fish alive.. fish bites him
Three men in a tub?!
Thee blind mice?
London bridge is falling down
I'm a little teapot, short and stout???
Old MacDonald had a farm.. and then we eat at MCD
Needles and pins, When a Man marries, His Trouble begins?
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell?!
Little Poll Parrot's food is stolen
Little Miss Muffet is frightened by a spider
Ding, dong, bell, Pussy’s in the well
Eeper Weeper, chimney sweeper pushes a wife up the chimney
Goose-a goose-a gander, throws an old man down the stairs
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride
It's raining; it's pouring. The old man is snoring and he dies
Lucy Locket lost her pocket
Poor Jenny is a-weeping
Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Agreed to have a battle
Tom, Tom, the piper's son, Stole a pig
Three wise men of Gotham, They went to sea in a bowl?? Seriously?

The last year

We were blessed with a beautiful girl last year.

I can summarize all the wonderful and memorable moments with this simple infographic. And yes, it is awesome!

Pic is from Mahindra's page.

Talk to your children

What marketing or marketers are teaching your kids today?




As a marketer, I am more inclined to ads that appeal and show how my product will solve your problem and how it is better. So all my communique is a result of such actions that trigger the need in you. Would I or any other marketer think otherwise when sending out the message? I don't think so. Because it is a tough world out there and not all are as lucky to have their own sweet time unless you are too high up in the organization or in a company that believes in responsible advertising.

As a parent I am on conflict and cynical about how I can reduce the unwanted content that my child is exposed to and forced to form opinions that are difficult and dangerous. I don't want my child to grow in that atmosphere. But can you or I actually control what they see? I don't think so. Children are being exposed to malicious content more easily these days and more importantly at a much younger age than you and me. So I would find time to be with my child and explain that it is important to look past the marketing or advertising gimmick and see the actual message. Explain why it is important to verify the claims, research the ingredients, look beyond the paid blogs, articles and huge mass of unrealistic content. More importantly I would teach her to respect her body and who she is.

And I would try and make a positive contribution to the marketing arena in whatever small way I can to make sure she grows up and is proud of what ads I am involved in. Would you?

10 Current Psychology Studies Every Parent Should Know

Jeremy Dean is a psychologist and the author of PsyBlog and this is a gem of an article you must read.

1. Parents are happier than non-parents

2. Putting your child first is worth it

3. Helicopter parenting may be depressing

4. Avoid strict discipline

5. Regular bedtimes

6. Do the chores together

7. Limit infant TV viewing

8. Exercise boosts kids’ school performance

9. Dangers of intense mothering

10. Why siblings are so different

Lessons in parenting

The most important contribution you can do to your family is being there. Find a home closer to your workplace/school and skip time wasted in travelling. Found this wonderful image from Alison Astair.

No one bothers if you earned a lot while missing your family. Unless you are Sachin who can spend more time with his family now, you should prioritize. You can't