Google+ Positive Psychologist: 21 most annoying habits of successful people

Leader

Thursday, October 9, 2008

21 most annoying habits of successful people

  1. Winning too much: This is the need to win at all costs and in all situation. Probably, we may think that today's ultra-competitive world make us behave like this, but, author opines that we can be even more successful if we control this behaviour
  2. Adding too much value: This is nothing but overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion
  3. Passing judgement: This is basically a need to rate others and impose our standards on them
  4. Making destructive comments: It is nothing but needless sarcasm and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty
  5. Starting response with 'no', 'but' or 'however': These negative qualifiers, when used excessively, secretly say to others that "I'm right. You're wrong"
  6. Telling the world how smart we are: This is another variation on our need to win, which backfires
  7. Speaking when angry: This is like using emotional volatility as a management tool. It's hard to lead people when you've lost control. Once you get a reputation for emotional volatility, you are branded for life
  8. "Let me explain why that won't work": Another way of sharing negative thoughts even when we are not asked for. This is unique because it is pure unadulterated negativity under the guise of being helpful
  9. Withholding information: People indulge in such behaviour only to maintain an edge over others. You may think that you are gaining an edge and consolidating power, but you're actually breeding mistrust
  10. Failing to give proper recognition: It is not only like sowing injustice and treating people unfairly, but also depriving people of emotional payoff that comes with success
  11. Claiming credit that we do'nt deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success
  12. Making excuses: This behaviour is an outcome of our need for repositioning our annoying behaviour as a permanent fixture in order to get excused for it
  13. Clinging to the past: This is a need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past. Enjoy living in the past, especially if going back there lets them blame someone else for everything that's gone wrong in their lives
  14. Playing favorites: You encourage behaviour that serves you but not necessarily the best interest of organization
  15. Refusing to express regret: This is inability to take responsibility for our actions and admit that we're wrong. It happens when we start thinking that apolozising means loss of contest
  16. Not listening: A common mistake, which is the most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for our colleagues. It's a kind of sending an armada of negative messages like ' I don't care about you. I don't understand you. You're wrong'
  17. Failing to express gratitude: Like apologizing, thanking is a magical super-gesture, which is what we can say when we don't have anything nice to say
  18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us
  19. Passing the buck: This is the behavioural flaw by which we judge our leaders. A leader who can't shoulder the blame is not someone who will be followed, and so loss of loyalty towards him/her
  20. An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are. We think they are our inalterable essence. This is one of the toughest obstacles to making positive long-term change in our behaviour
  21. Goal obsession: This is the most important aspect of annoying habits which needs to be addressed first as it is often the root-cause of other annoying behaviours. Goal obsession is one of the paradoxical traits which we accept as a driver of our success. It is the force at play when we get so wrapped up in achieving our goal that we do it at the expense of a larger mission

If we can reign in these annoying behaviour we can achieve still higher successes that what we may have been achieving till yet.

Reference: What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith

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