When you burn your tongue with the first sip of hot double
shot coffee, you tend to feel the singe of one too familiar after taste. While
this would remain for a couple of days, you would be munching tasteless food
while your brain doesn’t understand what you are eating and once in a while you
should check your plate to see if it is really the same as what your eyes see.
You feel bad but you neither skip coffee nor stop munching food.
When you pick up a Chetan Bhagat novel, you expect to have
something new, something amazing and some interesting plot that would keep you
mesmerized, teases you, tickles you and engages you in a philosophical dialogue
and motivates you in such a tremendous way that you are inspired! Wait! That is
not Chetan Bhagat I was talking about. You know what you can expect from a Chetan
Bhagat novel. Now that you have removed the sugar coating, you can dust off the
last few particles of genius-like-fruitiness; expect what you can get when the
title is - 'Half Girlfriend.'
Like I agreed we don't skip coffee or stop munching, Chetan's
works are like a second bowl of popcorn. You know you have had enough but are
not easily going to skip them. I pre-ordered 'Half Girlfriend', paid 37 bucks more and got it
yesterday. Here is the review.
Plot: Take a bit of Three Mistakes, problems mentioned in
Satyameva Jayate, imagine a non-English type village boy (like what Arjun
Kapoor desperately tries to enact) who is a state level basketball player??? coming to Delhi with small iron trunk to join St. Stephen's. Meet Riya, a rich
girl who hates her money-clogged-parents-home and is looking for an escape to a
real-rural-self-proclaimed-admiration for poor life where she wants to make
fame on her own! Madhav hates poverty and wants to be rich. Riya wants to live a
normal life with her own name and dignity. As the book specifies, Madhav and
Riya don't want the same thing. Madhav wants Riya to love him. She is confused.
Riya is okay being a half-girlfriend. Hugs okay, kisses okay, cuddling okay.
Nothing more okay?
Madhav tries to make out with her but she sticks to her
half-girlfriend theory. He cusses her and she walks out of the relationship. He
gets a 50k/month salary from HSBC in 2007 because he is honest! (No I didn't
see this in 3 idiots. Trust me it is a new plot. I have tears in my eyes.
Someone pass me a tissue). He doesn't take it and goes back to being the rural
poor prince he is to take care of his school for his mom and spends time
teaching poor kids. A noble cause stolen from the Satyameva Jayate, TaareZameen Par like twist and is rewarded when he gets a chance to get some
funds from Bill Gates and succeeds.
Enter Riya back from her small but personal
honeymoon-wedding-divorce while Madhav is trying to learn English in a private
coaching class and Riya tries to teach him English and succeeds. A good story
would end here. But Chetan wants a story after the interval too. So Enter
Madhav's mom who chides her to get out of her son's life. Riya runs away and
how Madhav recovers his life, wins lakhs of rupees in funds from Bill Gates foundation and travels to USA (too many Telugu/Tamil movies have shown this
already) to find the love of his life. If you stay back till the end, you will
find hope in a New York bar with live music.
Wait! Don't you like the story? Want some suspense? Let us
make the hero run for the last 10 minutes of the film and put a song, a slow
but romantic dark melody that ensures you have tears in your eyes while the
hero's shoes hurt, feet splinter and blood oozes from the shoes and he reaches
just in the nick of the moment. Now get out of here. You have had enough for
the 150 bucks you paid for this film. What?!!! I haven't added a love making
scene. Ya. They make love in about 20 words. No space you see!
While I know Chetan would have already pictured Kriti Sanon in the film and
would have decided how to make her look taller than she is, he must be counting
300 crores he would get for the film deal. Wait! I think the book would have
made him a 100 crore too.
To be concise: The book is fat, Chetan. I would have loved to
read some 50 pages less and could do away with the preachy
tone in some places. I liked it but as a... how do I say it... forget it, I
liked it.
If there is a positive note I have to write about the book,
it shows how village grown Madhavs can make out and win over the richest girls
and win over anything in their life if they just don't give up. Yes. Don't give
up yet! The second one is bringing back basketball to Indian cinema. When did Kajol lose to Sharukh last?
Will I pick up the next book from Chetan? Did you give up on coffee?
Rating: 1.5/5